Back in middle school, I imagined myself to be famous one day. Imagine that!
We know that famous people are always asked to sign autographs, so I figured it be best to start practicing my signature now.
During a particularly boring class, probably social studies, I started doodling, designing and crafting my signature. It had to be indicative of my personal style but it also had to be done quickly and consistently, because I would be mobbed by throngs of fans, of course.
I would practice pages at a time to get my signature just right. I had to be able to do it without thinking, without looking, with little to no effort, and it had to be perfect every time.
I wonder how many aspiring artists took time to craft their signature. I wonder what distinct characters they put into, what their process was like, or if they’ve given it any thought at all.
I used to imagine that an agent would say, right before a musician signs his first record deal or actress signs her first big movie contract, “Ms. Artist, you are about to become big and famous, but first you must practice your signature. I have a team to help you with that.”
The montage begins. The room fills up with signature experts who help her design the perfect signature. They blindfold her and have her write it 100 times. They simulate an autograph signing and bombard her with a thousand photos, books, and body parts to sign in under 3 minutes.
That’s how I imagined one’s initiation into the world of fame would begin, so in middle school I decided to get ahead of the game.
I wouldn’t want my lack of a dashing signature and an inability to sing multiple autographs while in the dark, hanging upside down, and tied over a pit of alligators holding back from being a superstar.